All His Fault
by KateMarie999
Summary: "And then it hit him. All the mistakes he had made. His failings as a Viking. His failings as a son. His failings as a friend to Toothless. All the lies he had told, they had led to destruction. His dragon would be killed. His father would be killed. His friends' parents would be killed. And it was all his fault." One-shot about Hiccup's feelings after being disowned by his father.


_This was originally going to be a __Love on the Battlefield__ one-shot. But then I got this idea instead of it and I like it better. I am basing it on what happened at work earlier today. It was the worst night I've ever had and I was overwhelmed and in tears. So I thought I'd write this short little one-shot to blow off steam. Please direct all angry comments to the reviews._

_~KateMarie999_

**All His Fault**

"You've thrown your lot in with them. You're not a Viking. You're not my son"

His backside ached but he hardly noticed the pain. He stared at his father, unable to believe he had heard those words. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. All he could do was watch his father turn around and walk away, slamming the door behind him and plunging the boy into darkness.

The dull thudding in his heart was loud in his ears. It was all he could hear properly. The noises outside were distorted. Still he couldn't get up. He couldn't move. He could only sit there, frozen on the ground and staring at the door.

And then it hit him. All the mistakes he had made. His failings as a Viking. His failings as a son. His failings as a friend to Toothless. All the lies he had told, they had led to destruction. His dragon would be killed. His father would be killed. His friends' parents would be killed.

_And it was all his fault._

He felt his eyes sting but blinked them rapidly. This was no time to be emotional. Not when he had to do something about this. The stinging in his eyes increased and his breaths came in short gasps. But still he would not acquiesce to those feelings. His whole body trembled. His legs felt too weak to support his weight. And so he continued to lie there. Staring into the tiny crack of light between both doors.

_No,_ he thought, pursing his lips in determination. _I have to be strong. I can't give into weakness. Not now._ But his body didn't want to obey. The stinging became unbearable. Finally, one single tear rolled down his cheek. He lifted a trembling hand to wipe the tear from his eye. But just as he lowered it, a second tear found its way through his eyelids. And before he could stop himself, before he could regain control, the tears began to rain down his face, splashing on his shirt and soaking through to his skin. He felt as though he had no control of his body at all, as though he had floated away and was watching himself cry into his hand, his sobs echoing off the walls and making his ears ache. The howls of misery emanating from his throat frightened him slightly. But he couldn't stop himself.

He began to see Toothless' face in the dark. The way the jewels on some of the swords glimmered in the tiny light from the crack in the doors reminded him of the shiny eyes of his dragon, clouded in fear at first but finally looking on him in love. He saw the little rainbows dancing around the walls. Even their shapes reminded him of the sleek profile of his dragon. It was as though the gods were taunting him, reminding him of every way he had failed.

His eyes were finally dry. He had nothing left. His throat felt raw but it didn't occur to him to seek out water. Wiping away the remaining tears, he shakily got to his feet. He could barely stand straight but he forced himself to remain upright. He had to take one last look at his dragon.

It took all of his strength to continue walking. He pulled open the doors and made his way to the cliff overlooking the harbor. And then he spotted the dragon.

He felt like crying again. But this time, he knew he wouldn't have the strength. The look of hopelessness on the Night Fury's face made him feel as though someone had cut his heart out. His body continued to shake but he stood his ground. If this was the last time he would ever see his dragon, he wanted to take in the majesty of the Night Fury one last time. He wanted to remember the days he had spent getting to know the dragon. He wanted to say goodbye.

He watched as Toothless finally noticed him standing there. Dragon and human stared at each other for a few seconds. And in a moment, he knew that his dragon understood. As the ships sailed away, Toothless finally broke his gaze and settled down. At least his dragon didn't hate him. But would those left in the village ever forgive him when so many of them were sailing to their deaths?

As the ships disappeared into the horizon, he knew it was hopeless. He had lost. And yet as he thought back to all the afternoons he had spent with his dragon, he didn't regret what he had done. Not one bit.


End file.
